5 Red Flags That Are Killing Your Client Creation As A Coach

Ever felt like you’re hosting a party where the invitations were sent, the decorations set, the music playing, but the guests – your potential clients – aren’t arriving?

That waiting game, filled with anticipation and uncertainty, is a feeling all too familiar for many coaches.

You often wonder: “Where are the clients? Why aren’t they connecting with me?” This situation isn’t just disheartening; it’s a pressing hurdle that I know many coaches face

But here’s the thing: What if the key to drawing clients in isn’t about sending more invitations but about crafting the right message in the ones you send?

The Key Lies in Distinction.

Many coaches dive into coaching equipped with the knowledge and passion but stumble when it comes to distinguishing themselves in a way that resonates with their ideal clients.

Here’s why many miss the mark:

Being Overwhelming Rather than Resonating: They aim to be everywhere and end up nowhere specific.
Speaking, not Listening: They focus on talking about their credentials instead of genuinely understanding their client’s needs.
Prioritizing Immediate Gains: Many chase after immediate monetary rewards instead of foundational learning experiences.
The Pressure to Sell: The desire to ‘make a sale’ overshadows the essence of genuine service.
Over-Complicating Things: In an effort to stand out, some pile on offerings or strategies, only to dilute their essence.

In the world of coaching, it’s not about being the loudest voice, but the most authentic and resonant one. — Coach Sid

Imagine you’re in a bustling market, filled with hundreds of stalls. Most of them offer similar products, blending into a sea of sameness.

However, there’s one stall that stands out. It’s not because they shout louder or have more flamboyant banners, but because they offer something unique, something different — a distinct value that resonates with what you’re genuinely seeking.

The five distinctions I am going to share next are similar to that standout stall. It’s a nuanced understanding, a fine-tuned insight, or a unique perspective that will set you apart from other coaches out there.

5 Core Distinctions For Creating Clients

In my own journey of coaching and in mentoring hundreds of other coaches, here are 5 distinctions that have served me most. Think of these as powerful principles that will set you apart from other coaches on your client creation journey.

1. Looking Interesting vs Being Interested

Don’t be a coach who is out there to look interesting to your clients. You are not out there to impress them. You are out there to create incredible value in their life or business. How do you do that? By being interested!

Listen deeply for their dreams and desires. Their pains and fears. Their strengths and the dangers that lie ahead of them. Be curious. Ask them what nobody dares to ask them. Acknowledge them. Challenge them. Make them feel seen, heard and understood.

Imagine Sarah, a life coach. When a potential client, Lisa, approaches her, instead of boasting about her certifications, success stories, or methodologies, Sarah asks Lisa about her life aspirations, her challenges, and her moments of joy and sorrow. By the end of the session, Lisa doesn’t remember any credentials Sarah might have mentioned, but she certainly feels heard, understood, and hopeful. Sarah’s genuine interest in Lisa’s life creates a bond far more powerful than any list of accomplishments ever could.

2. Obsessing about Earning vs Focusing on Learning

The early stages of any career are filled with a steep learning curve, and coaching is no different. While revenue is essential, it shouldn’t be the only metric defining your early success.

In your first 6 months as a coach your real metric for success is NOT what you are earning. It is what you are LEARNING. What kind of clients do you enjoy coaching? What kind of clients drain your energy? What coaching frameworks or skills do you feel comfortable using? Which parts of a coaching conversation do you feel most stuck in? How deeply are you listening?

Every conversation you have is raw material for you to continuously learn, improve, and grow. If you use your bank balance as your metric for success at this stage, you are going to end up disappointing yourself.

Example: Consider John, a budding health coach. In his initial months, he offers free sessions to a variety of clients. Some conversations invigorate him, while others leave him exhausted. By the end of six months, not only does he discover his passion niche within health coaching, but he also identifies which methodologies work best for him and where he needs further training. This foundation of self-awareness and tailored expertise positions him for a more fulfilling and lucrative career in the long run than if he'd simply chased immediate payment.

3. Selling Transactionally vs Serving Transformationally.

You will find it hard to have a great conversation with a potential client if all your mind is caught up in your own needs

“I need to sell.”
“I need this client.”
“I am willing to do whatever it takes.”

The honest truth is that coaching is not a transaction that needs to be sold. It is a transformation that your client should WANT strongly enough for them to invest with you. Your role as coach is to create space for that conversation where the possibility of transformation gets your clients excited enough to say yes.

You don’t NEED them. But they should WANT you to make that transformation possible for them.

When service takes precedence over selling, the entire dynamics of the conversation shift, laying the foundation for trust and genuine transformation.

Take Emily, a business coach, meeting a young entrepreneur, Alex. Instead of using pressure tactics or showcasing her packages, Emily spends time understanding Alex's business vision, challenges, and aspirations. By focusing on how she can serve Alex and help him realize his dreams, she creates a space where Alex sees the value of her coaching. Emily might not ‘sell’ in that first interaction, but Alex, recognizing the potential transformation, eagerly signs up for her services.

4. Lengthy Explanations vs Simple Experiences

Nobody says yes to being coached simply because you EXPLAINED what it means. They say yes because you got them to EXPERIENCE what it’s like to be in a powerful coaching conversation. They felt the shift, the moment of insight, the clarity, the certainty, the result.

An explanation engages the mind, but an experience captivates the heart. A list of benefits or a detailed methodology might appeal to logic, but true commitment comes when clients feel the transformative power of coaching.

In preparation for your client conversations, forget about how you are going to explain what coaching is. Nobody cares. Ask yourself, how are you going to ensure that your client’s have the best experience possible in the time they spend with you?

David, a relationship coach, meets a couple struggling with communication issues. Instead of diving into theories or explaining how his sessions work, David conducts a mini-session right there. The couple experiences a breakthrough, understanding each other's perspective for the first time in months. They don't need any further explanation. Having experienced the value David brings, they’re ready to embark on their coaching journey with him.

5. FOMO vs No More.

Your biggest enemy as a coach in the early stages is FOMO ie Fear of Missing Out. Every day you might hear other peers jumping to do another new program or finding the perfect designer for their website or learning yet another new platform to post their content. In your early stages, you need to know that you do NOT need any of this to create your first 5 clients.

Your biggest strength at a coach will be your FOCUS like a laser on doing a few things and doing them really well. LESS is MORE can become your superpower.

Here are the 3 most important things you need to focus on at this stage.

Fill your calendar up with conversations where you coach your ass off!
Learn more about your own thinking, your clients thinking and how to manage both.
Make offers in your conversations, clear objections and train yourself to get comfortable with hearing this two letter word “NO”

Meet Sam, an emerging life coach. He constantly sees other coaches launching fancy websites, attending expensive courses, and marketing on every social media platform. Feeling pressured, Sam begins to invest time and money into creating a website, joining multiple platforms, and enrolling in various courses. He soon finds himself overwhelmed, spreading too thin, and losing sight of his coaching essence.

On the other hand, Lisa, another aspiring life coach, decides to follow the "Less is More" philosophy. She dedicates her time primarily to having genuine conversations, understanding her clients' needs, and practicing her coaching techniques. Instead of juggling multiple platforms, she chooses one where she feels most connected to her audience. Lisa's focused approach not only helps her connect more deeply with her clients but also allows her to refine her skills more efficiently.

Navigating the world of coaching is all about making genuine connections. Today, we explored the power of distinctions—those unique insights that set us apart and help us resonate with our ideal clients. By harnessing our distinct voice, we can turn silent echoes into meaningful conversations.