Coaching with Sid

Defying Urgency - Learn The Most Under Celebrated Skill Of The Modern World.

sent by Siddharth Anantharam    |   August 17, 2023

sent by Siddharth Anantharam
August 17, 2023

Over the past month, I have been thinking deeply and writing about the most underrated skills of the modern world.

Last week, I wrote about one such skill – the power of harnessing our intuitive intelligence in a world of artificial intelligence.

And a few weeks before that I wrote about mastering the skill of deep listening – a true superpower today in a world where everyone has something to share.

I am constantly seeking simplicity in an increasingly complex world. And this simplicity makes me both curious and aware of patterns I see around me.

Luckily I get the opportunity to observe these patterns every week in my coaching conversations with some of the most successful entrepreneurs, leaders and coaches who invite me into their personal and professional worlds.

In today’s newsletter I am going to share what I believe is one of the most under-celebrated skills of the modern world – PATIENCE.

Infinite patience produces immediate results. –A Course in Miracles

In a world of shortcuts, hacks and quick fixes, being patient can truly be a superpower.

Here’s a quick back story:

I was coaching an entrepreneur who has his own investment consulting firm in the crypto space. He sounded burned out, stressed and frustrated.

Something he shared with me peaked my curiosity.

“Sid, the crypto space is so volatile that as much as I enjoy it, I’d like to just make a ton of money FAST and exit.”

“How much is a ton of money for you?” I asked him.

“I don’t know but just a lot of money to not have to worry about working again.”

And “how fast is fast enough for you?” I prodded.

“About 6 months?” he replied.

At the root of this hurry and worry are the false stories we have been told about the speed of success. And the wrong mindset we have created about TIME.

I’ve realized that most of our worries are born because we give ourselves LIMITED TIME to do anything.

It’s not that we have unrealistic goals. It’s just that we have unrealistic deadlines to achieve them.

We are in a hurry to get there because we are told that others have already made it.

We are in a hurry to become overnight successes even though others took ten years to get there.

What if we just built up the muscle of patience instead? What if we learned to live without hurry?

Patience like most other skills is something that needs to be practiced to be learned.

4 simple ways to coach your clients and yourself to cultivate patience:

1) Ask “Which area of your life requires the most patience right now?”

If you find them hurrying, pause them to ask again “so what’s the real hurry here?”

I find that most times this urgency is just an artificial creation of my mind.

These are the exact questions I asked the crypto entrepreneur in my conversation. Turns out that his previous startup had failed and this had created an artificial sense of hurry in his mind to make it big, FAST!

As we explored this further, he realized that he would be living a much more peaceful and balanced life if he just gave himself more time.

Coaching Questions - What requires more patience in your life or business right now? What’s the real hurry here?

2) Give Yourself More Time - Think in Decades.

The easiest way to develop patience is to give yourself more time.

As an entrepreneur, it’s about thinking in decades.

Bring to mind the area of your life or business that you most need to improve.

What if instead of focussing on the next month or the next year, you gave yourself a decade to achieve something important for you?

What if you planned in decades to transform your life or business? What would you choose to focus on creating, improving or growing in the next 10 years?

Most entrepreneurs suddenly feel a huge sense of relief when I pop this question. Because there is a powerful realization that the goal that currently looks impossible suddenly feels so much more achievable.

And not just that, it feels like it can be achieved with enough time to spare.

Give yourself the gift of time. Imagine what a decade could do for your personal or professional aspirations. The relief of extended timelines fosters a sense of achievement and determination.

Coaching Question - What if you gave yourself 25 years to transform your life or business? What would you choose to focus on creating, improving or growing in this next decade?

3) Capture SMALL daily wins as much as BIG victories.

It’s easy to celebrate a destination reached, a goal achieved or a project completed.

But the beauty lies in celebrating the smaller wins and milestones along the way.

Those are great reminders of our patience and progress.

When I mentor coaches, I encourage them to celebrate every coaching conversation they complete instead of just new clients signed.

When I coach entrepreneurs, we celebrate their biggest successes from the past week instead of just the big OKR’s they have set for the quarter.

My wife is brilliant at helping me live this principle. Every time I experience even the smallest of wins in a new project I’ve undertaken, she gets me to do a victory dance. And joins me in it. It breaks me out of impatience and gets me super present.

Another one of my clients religiously captures daily wins to establish what he calls a WIN Streak that gives him tremendous daily motivation and momentum.

Big wins are awesome, but let’s not forget the smaller victories that pave the way. Patience thrives when we recognize and celebrate the progress we make each day.

Coaching Question - What are your 3 top wins from yesterday that you would like to celebrate today?

4) Surround yourself with more patient people.

It always helps to have people who also think in decades instead of in days.

Some of my closest friends and mentors today are all long term thinkers playing long term games.

They remind me of the beauty in waiting and patiently creating.

– They shift my perspective from short term gratification to long term growth. 

– They remind you to take a deep breath and see the glass half full instead of half empty.

Long-term thinkers make incredible companions. They remind us of the beauty in waiting, the importance of perspective, and the power of a deep breath.

Coaching Questions - Who are the long term thinkers in your life? What can you learn from them?

Cultivating patience is a journey that requires intention and practice.

By cultivating inner awareness, giving yourself enough time, celebrating your progress and hanging out with long term thinkers, you’ll unlock a newfound sense of peace and resilience. 

Remember, patience is not about waiting; it’s about how you choose to wait.

What about you? What requires the most patience in your life right now? And what practices do you have in place to cultivate it? Share with me in the comments below.

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