The Courage To Be Disliked - Coaching with Sid

How to stay true to yourself when you are wired to be liked

If you have ever walked out of a room and thought, “I was not fully myself in there,” this one is for you.

Over the last few weeks, I noticed a pattern in myself.

In conversations, on calls, even while writing, there was a subtle edit running in the background:

“Will this make them uncomfortable”
“Is this too much”
“What if this changes how they see me”

I would soften a sentence, add a little sugarcoat, remove a truth that felt too sharp.
Nothing dramatic. Just 5 percent less real each time.

On the surface, everything looked fine.

People were kind, feedback was great, and yet something felt slightly off. I felt liked.
I did not feel fully honest.

That is when I realized: I was trying to protect two things at the same time.

My authenticity – the part of me that wants to say what is true, even if it is messy.
My belonging – the part of me that wants to be liked, welcomed, and approved.

Both are human. Both are valid. But when they clash, it can get noisy inside.

Being liked has secret benefits.

It lets our nervous system relax.
It gives a sense of safety.
It tells that ancient part of the brain, “You are not going to be thrown out of the village.
You are OK.”

So we learn small ways to stay liked.

We round our edges.
We nod instead of disagreeing.
We underplay a need, a boundary, an insight that could change the room.

Over time, the cost shows up in different ways:

You feel resentful, but you smile anyway.
You say yes, and then feel heavy in your body.
You get praise, but it lands flat because it is for a version of you that is slightly edited.

You are not lying. You are just not all there.

From the outside, everything looks fine. Inside, you feel just a little bit out of alignment with yourself.

The turning point is usually very small.

It is that moment after a meeting or a message where your body whispers, “That was not it.”

Your words were polite, but your chest feels tight.
You went along with the group, but your gut feels off.
You shared a story, but you left out the part that actually mattered.

When that happens, it is not a sign that you are fake.
It is a sign that something in you is ready for a deeper level of truth.

The question becomes:

Are you willing to let someone dislike your truth, so that you can like yourself more?

That is the real courage.

In yogic philosophy, there is this idea of satya – Living in alignment with what is true, within you and around you.

Not dramatic rebellion. Not picking fights or being “authentic” in a careless way.
Just the simple decision to stop abandoning yourself in order to stay in everyone’s good books.

This is not about choosing between:

“I will be fully myself and not care what anyone thinks”
or
“I will be who they want me to be so I do not lose anyone”

Real life sits somewhere in the middle.

There are relationships where your full truth is not safe.
There are contexts where strategy matters.
There are cultures where blunt expression can cost you more than it gives.

Courage here is not about shouting your truth. It is about slowly increasing the percentage of you that is actually
present in each room.

Maybe your truth shows up like this:

Saying, “I see it differently, can I share another angle”
Telling a friend, “I know this may be hard to hear, but I respect you enough to say it”
Admitting, “I am not OK with this,” even when it risks tension
Sharing a part of your story that is not polished, but real

Each time you do this, you stretch your capacity.

You teach your nervous system, “We can be a little more real and still be safe.”
Some people may pull closer.
Some may pull away.
Both are information. Both are gifts.

Pause & Reflect

Where in your life right now are you choosing to be liked over being honest
What is one conversation where you walked away feeling “edited”
If you could show up 10 percent more real in that space, what would you say or do differently

Coaching Tool of the Week

The 10 Percent Braver Rule

Step 1: Name the room
Choose one specific context where you feel this tension: your team meeting, a client call, a family conversation, your Instagram page.

Write it down:
“This is the room where I often choose being liked over being fully me.”

Step 2: Define your 10 percent

Ask yourself: “If I was 10 percent braver here, how would it look”. Not 100 percent. Not a full personality makeover. Just 10 percent.

Examples:

Adding one sentence of truth at the end of what you usually say.
Sharing one real feeling instead of the safe one.
Respectfully saying, “Actually, I disagree,” once.
Posting one piece of content that feels honest, even if it is not the most polished.

Write that version down in one or two sentences.

Step 3: Take one low-risk action

Look for a low-stakes opportunity in that room to practice your 10 percent.

A smaller meeting instead of a boardroom.
A close friend instead of the whole group.
A story on social media instead of a permanent post.

Act on it within the next 48 hours.

Step 4: Debrief with your body

After you do it, do not rush to judge. Close your eyes for a minute and ask:

How does my chest feel
How is my breath
Do I feel more alive, or more shut down

Let your body answer.

Even if someone did not like your truth, notice if there is a small sense of relief inside you. That is the part of you that has been waiting to come home.

Step 5: Repeat, slowly

Build this like a muscle.

Same room, same 10 percent, until it feels normal. Then choose a new room, or move from 10 percent to 15 percent.

You are not trying to be “unbothered by what people think.” You are learning how to carry your truth and your need for belonging at the same time, without losing yourself.

Final Thought

At some point, most people will like a version of you that is more convenient than real.

You get to decide if you will keep feeding that version, or start slowly feeding the one that feels true.

The courage to be disliked is really the courage to be fully known.

You may lose a few admirers. You will gain something far more important. You will gain a life that actually feels like yours.

Pause & Reflect

Coaching Tool of the Week

The 10 Percent Braver Rule

Final Thought

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When the Inner Critic Gets Loud

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Wake Up

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Share With You

Pause & Reflect

Coaching Tool of the Week

The 10 Percent Braver Rule

Final Thought

When the Inner Critic Gets Loud

When Life Knocks, Don’t Just Get Up, Wake Up

Something I’ve Been Waiting to Share With You

The Breakthrough Journal

by Coach Sid

When Life Knocks, Don’t Just Get Up,
Wake Up

Something I’ve Been Waiting to
Share With You

The
Breakthrough
Journal